Boyfriend of the Bride
by Odyssion
Summary: If only Rikuo weren't able to create a distraction, how wonderful Kazahaya's wedding would've been. An alternate ending to the 3rd manga, exploring the 'what ifs' of matrimony. [Rikuo x Kazahaya]


**Boyfriend of the Bride**

_Disclaimer:_ This is a purely non-profit story written for entertainment purposes only. The characters of Legal Drug belong to their respective owners (meaning the lovely ladies of CLAMP who are filthy rich geniuses).

_Author's Notes: _Yay, another instalment of the lovely Legal Drug boys! This certainly isn't the best I've written, but I was just toying with the idea of Kazahaya actually getting married; it's amusing to torture him. I have another version of this same concept in my mind (a sort of sequel you can almost say; I'll probably expand on the ending), but I'm waiting for the 4th book to come out to see how it'll all fit together (but it seems the 4th book will never come out… ARGH!) Anyways, hope you enjoy Kazahaya's sufferings under Rikuo's hard torture (no pun intended) ;)

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**Boyfriend of the Bride**

"Kudo, may I have your hand?"

"Huh? What? Eh…?"

He shivered in anticipation. The cool metal of the ring was soothing on his hand, a sense of realness and substance. He tried to hide the blush creeping up his face as Mukofujiwara carefully slipped the ring onto his finger. He was poised; the second Rikuo created the distraction, he would snatch the ring and hide it so fast that nobody would have a clue.

But as the enchanted band slid further and further down his slender digit, nothing seemed to be happening at all. The auditorium had taken on a hushed silence, all eyes watching the bride and groom.

Any minute now… he just had to be ready…

Even when Mukofujiwara had placed the ring firmly on his finger and kissed his hand to seal the deal, even when the thunderous applause and hooting broke the spell of silence, even when he was being led off the stage by his 'groom' (or rather, 'husband'), Kazahaya remained poised and assured in the fact that at any moment, Rikuo would create the biggest diversion this side of the mountain and they would successfully complete their mission.

He didn't know when he gave up on this sentiment. Perhaps it was when the bright afternoon sun was casting its happy rays onto his abused eyes, and he had to lift up a hand to shield them. Perhaps it was when someone from the photo club told him to stand in front of the Tree of Sweet Nothings with Mukofujiwara, and to hold up his bouquet for the wedding picture. He hadn't even realized he'd been holding on to the damn thing the whole time. Under normal circumstances, there would be no way in hell he would've let someone take his picture while he was dressed the way he was; Rikuo would use it as blackmail for months. But his fazed mind was too shocked and outraged by Rikuo's apparent treason that it didn't care. Where the heck was that guy, anyway?

"Kudo-kun! Kudo-kun, turn to the left a little more. That's it!" Turn. Flash. He didn't even bother to look at the cameras. All his eyes were doing was scanning the crowd for Rikuo.

"Kudo-kun, smile! You look gorgeous!" Smile. Flash. How was it that a guy that big could melt into a crowd? He didn't buy it. Rikuo was probably far away, laughing his ass off at Kazahaya's pain. He would be sure to get him good later.

"Kudo-kun, kiss Mukofujiwara." Kiss… KISS?

"Ahhh!" He backed away from Mukofujiwara, and almost tripped on the trim of his own dress. Immediately, many sets of arms reached out to support him.

"Kudo-kun, are you alright?"

"Please be more careful, Kudo-kun. We wouldn't want you to get hurt."

And it went on and on. He supposed he was thankful to have them forget about their previous request, but it vaguely made him understand what it was like to be famous. He'd always thought it was so cool; this was certainly making him change his mind.

While trying to fend off his zealous admirers, Kazahaya caught sight of Rikuo from the corner of his eye. Instinctively, he moved to follow him, but found that he was blocked by a rapidly growing crowd.

"Please let me out," Kazahaya begged, getting rather desperate.

"Where are you going, Kudo-kun? We've only taken a few pictures!"

Rikuo hadn't once looked at him, and was moving out of his line of sight. He had to try to think of something to get these people away…

"How about we throw the bouquet?" he said mock-cheerily, but his plan seemed to have worked. The happy faces in front of him all nodded in agreement. "Ok, I want you all to try your best!" He smiled, but inside was fuming that he had lost sight of Rikuo. This was so stupid! What kind of boys' school was this? It must have something to do with the mountain air…

"Gather around, everyone. You'll have to move back. There, that's it." Finally, he had cleared some breathing room. He turned around, prepared to hoist the wilted thing to the moon. "Ready? One, two…" He was on the verge of saying three when a ghostly shadow materialized behind Mukofujiwara, and he let out a "Gyahh!" of epic proportions as he tossed the bouquet as far as he could muster out of sheer fright. He was about to scream again as he felt rough hands cover his mouth and drag him away from the distracted crowd. His whole body froze, panicked. What the heck was going on? He could hear the rush of stampeding feet, the squealing of a fight, and knew that no one would notice that he was missing. And that ghost… where had it come from?

"Hold still," a voice beside him stated irritably, as the hands lifted from his mouth and he turned around to face his abductor.

"Rikuo! What are you—WHERE THE HECK WAS YOUR DISTRACTION?"

Rikuo scrunched up his face at Kazahaya's yelling. "Easy, princess, or they'll hear you."

"Don't call me that!" Kazahaya fumed. "I was waiting for you! And you just let me be taken away by all these maniacs…"

Rikuo listened for a moment to Kazahaya's slew of complaints before cutting him off. "I had something to take care of, ok?"

"No, it's not ok! I almost had to kiss—" Kazahaya stopped short, the blush returning to his face. He suddenly realized how close he and Rikuo were, and _where _they were, for that matter…

"Yes?" Rikuo asked, the familiar smirk already on his face as he moved closer to his flustered partner.

"Umm… I… Mukofujiwara!"

"Mukofujiwara?" Rikuo seemed almost jealous. "What about him?"

At that moment, none other than Mukofujiwara himself stepped around the tree to join them. "May I please have the ring?"

"The ring? Oh…" He had forgotten! He should've slipped it off his finger while he'd had the chance. Now Mukofujiwara was here, and they didn't have a choice.

"Here," Rikuo said, handing it over. Kazahaya was stunned. What was Rikuo doing? Wait… wasn't the ring still on his finger?

Kazahaya looked down to find his usual bare fingers staring up at him. "Wha—how did you get that?"

Rikuo ignored him. "There's someone waiting to talk to you back in the dorm."

Mukofujiwara smiled. "Thank you. Since you've delivered the ring to me, your mission is complete."

Kazahaya couldn't be more confused if he tried. "Wait… what did he—who's waiting in the—I don't—"

Suddenly the afternoon sun was far too hot, the bridal gown too stifling, and a wave of dizziness washed over him. As he fell forward, Rikuo caught him in a loose embrace and lifted him effortlessly into his arms.

"This gives a whole new meaning to 'damsel in distress'," Rikuo said with a fond smile, planting an affectionate kiss on the unconscious blonde's forehead.

It took the rest of the zealous fanatics who didn't catch the bouquet a while to realize that the bride had gone missing. And exactly who did catch Kazahaya's flowers? There was a glimmer of a shadow that seemed to travel through the crowd, and then the symbolic bundle of flowers was gone without a trace. No one really knows what happened; some even claim it was a ghost.

-

_(Back at Green Drugstore)_

"I still don't get what happened."

"What else is new?"

"Shut up! Can't you be nice to me, just once?"

"But I was."

"When?"

"Oh, when you blacked out. I was _real _gentle."

"**What's that supposed to mean!**"

"Guess this makes me the 'other man'."

"What are you—I'm not married!"

"Pity. You look hot in garters."

"Gart—**Rikuo, you're such a perv!**"

"What? I didn't see anything. Honest."

**END**

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